GLC @ GTC Sunday Classic: Goldie Lookin Chain: Kings of Caerleon
by Walter Price
You can say what you want about The UK’s Goldie Lookin Chain, and many have said plenty. But what should be known is that this troupe of social commentary purveyors have their finger on the pulse of modern society and have a delivery system that makes some queasy, many confused, and then there are the peoples, like myself and their diehard fan-base, who get it.
I have been a fan of this multifaceted band of comedic-leaning dubstep hip-hoppers ever since I had their music hit my desk in the early 2000’s and then the subsequent smoke-filled interview at NYC’s Bowery Ballroom.
This is now  and the Welsh outfit has their Kings of Caerleon out and about and it is a fine example of The GLC’s instinctive off-kilter takes on the goings-on in the world around them (and you and I). Yes, they are using their tongue n’ cheek humor and somewhat retro production style to convey their points of view. This is their mastery.
Enough of that, I always enjoy chatting with The GLC’s Eggsy, so I decided to ask him a couple of “5 Things…” questions, and here is our short but right-on email conversation.
What are 5 things people often misunderstand about The GLC?
1, We are not actually friends, in fact, off stage, none of us have communicated verbally since 2003 when we were signed to Atlantic Records after an argument over who was allowed to have two beds on the tour bus, outside of the band all communication is now carried out via mutual acquaintance Lee. Lee also sorts out all of our costumes and gets all the snacks for the dressing room.
2, Our Live shows are not actually choreographed by Paula Abdul, this is a common mistake and I don’t blame fans for being confused but the slick stage craft which is a result of years of intense practice playing five a side soccer whilst listening to hi energy Italo disco music at the local leisure centre, again theres no verbal communication between us when we play so being able to move into space whilst controlling a football at the same time as avoiding unwanted injuries from bad tackling has created our unique stage show.
3, None of us have ever had a romantic liaison with Gillian Anderson of X Files fame, although it is rumoured that David Duchovny once sent a naked Selfie to Maggot after a show we did at New York’s Bowery Ballroom on May 30th 2005, again lack of verbal communication means this rumour can be neither confirmed or Denied…
4, Mike Balls once tried to take a dump in Marilyn Mansons private toilet backstage at the Sonicmania festival in Japan, at least he tried to until Marilyn walked in and stared him down, mike was also sick onstage at the same gig, common belief tends to switch the story round with Mike forcing Manson out of a toilet who was then (Falsley) sick on stage, having no Verbal confirmation of this is not a bad thing.
5, Putting any group of men from South Wales on a tour bus with unlimited supplies to booze and drugs is not a good idea. The fact that no one wants to talk to each other simply increases drinking speed and decreases mental stability…..massively.
What are 5 things the world needs to know about ‘Kings Of Caerleon’?
1, Caerleon is reportedly the home of King Arthur and also lesser-known local Legend Dean Taylor who used to be able to get some of the best acid in Britain until he was arrested for forging travelers’ cheques and imprisoned for 12 years in 2007
2, Kings of Caerleon was recorded completely on magnetic tape in 2012 but the tape was lost after Adam recorded over it with Warren G’s “Regulate” album meaning we had to spend half of our tour budget on an actual computer to re-record it (note: it took three weeks for us to realize that we didn’t make “Regulate”) , hence no shows outside of the UK since.
3, Tracks from Kings of Caerleon have not featured on the soundtrack to Big Budget Hollywood Movies such as Iron Man, The Hunger Games or The Great Gatsby although there was talk of licensing a track to a local car dealership for a radio commercial. talks are ongoing.
4, The body wait amassed amongst the band from extensive drinking during recording is the equivalent to having another three members onstage.
5, Whilst recording the closing track of the Album “What Would Biggie Do” we tried to hook up an Ouija board to communicate with the spirit world and see if Biggie would speak to us………….. Nothing happened.
In your opinion, what are 5 things wrong with the music industry?
Probably One Direction
[Original pub-date: 21. January 2014]
Kings of Caerleon
Band photo via Facebook
GRAYHAM THE BEAR
DJ KILLER TOMATO
“None of us have ever had a romantic liaison with Gillian Anderson of X Files fame, although it is rumoured that David Duchovny once sent a naked Selfie to Maggot after a show we did at New York’s Bowery Ballroom on May 30th, 2005, again lack of verbal communication means this rumour can be neither confirmed or Denied…”